The Biggest Perv?
by Hentai4ever
Summary: Sailor Seme and Sailor Hentai duel Miroku to see who is the top pervert. Who will win this umm...very perverse duel?
1. Intro

Chapter one: Introducing the contestents!  
  
Host: Hi! Today on The biggest perv...! We have.........Miroku!  
  
Miroku: Hello all you ladies! Will anyone, bear me a child?  
  
Audience: O.o?  
  
Guys: What kind of guy are you? You pervert!  
  
Host: *sweatdrop* That's the point of the show!  
  
Audience: Ah...  
  
Audience: *Throws tomatoes at Miroku*  
  
Miroku: Ahhhhh! I didn't think you ladies would be THAT enthuesiastic  
  
Host: Ok there...anyways now we have........Sailor seme!  
  
Sailor seme: Hello ladies. ^_~ I am Sailor seme and on behalf of hentai I shall write pwp!  
  
Host: So why do you call yourself Sailor Seme?  
  
Sailor Seme: Seme & Uke "Seme" and "uke" are Japanese terms used to show the positions of the characters during sex.  
  
Host: O.o Wow  
  
Audience: Nani?  
  
Sailor seme: Seme & Uke "Seme" comes from the verb "semeru" (to attack) and is the penetrator. Uke comes from the verb "ukeru" (to receive) and is the one being penetrated. (dominant lover kinda thing)  
  
Host: We intterupt you because we have no clue what you are trying to tell us  
  
Sailor seme: ^*@&$*!^#^$*@#^~!!!!!!  
  
Host: Ok. Going on. And here's...........Sailor hentai!!  
  
Sailor Hentai: *bows* I fight for hentai and yuri! In the name of all perverse readers I shall make you read hentai! *does stupid pose*  
  
Host: Yeah....... So Sailor hentai, what made you decide you were going to call yourself that?  
  
Sailor Hentai: Well you see Sailor seme use to be called "Sailor Pervert" (Sailor seme: well duh!~ Sailor hentai: shut up) so anyways I decided that I love hentai and should be called that.  
  
Host: Now I understand!  
  
Audience: zZzZz  
  
Host: Will you people listen?!?@^%#&  
  
Audience: Nani?? %$*@  
  
Host: Wonderful!  
  
Audience member: *throws can*  
  
Host: Great. Just what we need. 3 perverts and a very angry audience. Until next time!  
  
-off in the crowd-  
  
Miroku: Ok will all the ladies who would like to bear a child with me please form a line over there?  
  
Sailor hentai (to sailor seme): *whispers* Wow he's good!  
  
Sailor seme: I am SOO gonna kick his ass in the arena!  
  
Sailor hentai: Soooooooo.......what do we do now? Cause if we can leave I need to go flirt with some grade 6's and maybe some girls in my class.. yeah ^_^  
  
Sailor seme: Here I come all you cute girls!! *runs into wall* @_@ 


	2. Fight

Title: The biggest Perv? Rating: R  
  
Chapter 2- Fight!  
  
Kikyou: Hello everyone! Sailor Hentai & Sailor Seme are going up against Miroku to see who is the top pervert! Who will win this uhh very perverse duel? SS & SH, or the lecherous monk Miroku?  
  
Miroku: Where are they??  
  
Kikyou: ....................  
  
*~*  
  
Bunny: C'mon already!  
  
LS: B..but there's a REALLY cute girl over there and....*leaves*  
  
Bunny: -_- Fine then. *flips through playboy*  
  
*~*  
  
Audience: *throwing various objects*  
  
Kikyou: What are we going to do?!  
  
Miroku: Will you bear my child?  
  
Kikyou: *eye twitches*  
  
Random audience member: Go to hell Kikyou!  
  
Kikyou: *eye twitches* Why don't I send YOU to hell!! I can do it!  
  
Random audience member: *whimpers*  
  
*~*  
  
LS: Henshin yo!  
  
Bunny: ? What's the hurry? What happened to the cute girl?  
  
LS: (!)  
  
Bunny: Fine, fine. Seme..perverse..POWER! *transforms*  
  
LS: Hentai..perverse..POWER! *transforms*  
  
*~*  
  
Kikyou lovers: We love you Kikyou!!  
  
Kikyou haters: Go to hell Kikyou!!  
  
Kikyou: ........I.......have no idea what's going on.  
  
Miroku: *talking to random girls* Will you bear my child?  
  
??: Penetrating through the darkness to reveal all naked woman.....  
  
The air of freedom breaks through.....  
  
We are the two hentai's who shall write pwp in the name of all hentai....  
  
SS: Sailor Seme!  
  
SH: Sailor Hentai!  
  
Miorku: 0_o  
  
Kikyou lovers: We love you Kikyou!!  
  
Kikyou haters: We have no brains!!  
  
Kikyou: Well duh!  
  
SS: I have a feeling were being ignored...  
  
SH: (...)  
  
SS: Hey Miroku isn't paying any attention....^______^ ..Playboy attack!! *various playboys are thrown at inhuman speeds*  
  
Miroku: Huh? *spots playboys* Hell yeah!! *snatches a few*  
  
SS: Ummmm.....  
  
SH: *flipping through playboys*  
  
SS: T_T  
  
Kikyou: Huh? Oh. *grabs michrophone* And Miroku has.............blocked SH's attack?  
  
SS: Blocked?! You call that blocking?!  
  
SH: Kikyou is the new host?  
  
SS: Yeah I changed it. The old one was annoying.  
  
Kikyou: Oh but wait a second!! It seems that Miroku has.......umm......  
  
Miroku: *fetal posistion* The..horror...  
  
SH: WTF?! *throws playboy away like its a disease*  
  
SS: *evil cackling* That's right! The women is those playboys are in fact......MEN!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Kikyou: That's just wrong..........  
  
SH: (*#*&$@*$&)  
  
Kikyou lovers: We love you Kikyou!!  
  
Kikyou haters: Umm.........line?  
  
Miroku: *points to Sailor seme* You are one evil son of a bitch! *still in a fetal position*  
  
Kikyou: It seems that the Sailor hentai's are winning! Thanks to Sailor seme's umm....... attack. Will Miroku get over being tramautized and win this fight? 


	3. Second round

The biggest perv  
  
Chapter 3  
  
------------------------------------  
  
LS: um... I though this was a team thing?  
  
Bunny: uh that's what I thought too...  
  
Ls: then why did kikyo say in the last chap that I was winning? O.o  
  
Bunny: sighs dreamily Kikyo...  
  
Ls: slaps bunny I though you liked Hotaru sweatdrop  
  
Bunny: whimpers bu-but they're both so hot/cute!!  
  
Ls: Whatever. We have to kick Miroku's ass now ok?  
  
Bunny: ok lets Henshin! Ecchi...perverse...POWER!  
  
Ls: Hentai...perverse...POWER!  
  
----------------------------------  
  
-at whatever place our fight is taking place-  
  
SE: um where's Kikyo? O.o  
  
SH: well I removed her and heres....... HARUKA!!!  
  
SE: O.o what?%&# help! (read the interview with the senshi for further details)  
  
Haruka: grins hehe I'm going to get you back SE!!  
  
SH: um we're in the "biggest perv" not "the interview with the senshi" ok Haruka? You can beat the living hell out of her at the end   
  
SE: gasp how could you do that to your fellow "senshi"?  
  
SH: well it's not my fault that you got Haruka-san mad before. shrugs  
  
SE: starts cursing at SH   
  
Miroku: Can we start yet? I haven't groped anyone in the last 10 minutes! starts crying  
  
Haruka: mutters pervert... ANYWAYS on with the duel!  
  
SH: so what are we supposed to do?  
  
Haruka: well...uh...I'll think of something!  
  
SE: hahahaha Haruka's a complete BAKA!!!!!!  
  
Haruka: glares are you trying to provoke me?  
  
SE: um...hides behind SH  
  
Haruka: Starts chasing after SE mwhahaha  
  
Miroku: STOP!!!!  
  
everyone looks  
  
NANI?  
  
Miroku: Ok let our task be to see how many women you can lay in the next hour. Here's a paper to get their signatures.  
  
hands out paper  
  
SE&SH: ok we're a team so we've got an advantage! evil laugh  
  
Miroku: Ah but you forget! there are more women loving men then women loving women!  
  
SH: he's right damnit!!  
  
SE: but we have very good flirting techniques grins meet you back here in an hour monk-boy! grabs SH's hand and runs off  
  
Haruka: those two are.... quite enthusiastic O.o  
  
Miroku... eye twitches Haruka-san... will you have sex with me?  
  
Haruka: starts to kick miroku in between the legs but stops and says I can't kick you there cause you have to lay people...  
  
Miroku: nods of course!!  
  
Haruka: BUT... I can kick you here! Kicks Miroku in the face  
  
Miroku: Nooooooooooo! My good looks!  
  
Haruka: Just go and fuck your ass off will ya! leave me alone!!!  
  
Miroku: That really hurt… limps off 


End file.
